New Orleans Police Union

[jamestaggert]

New Orleans
The Lakeside Hotel
New Orleans Police Union Christmas Party

Congressman James Lee Taggert made good on his invitation at the annual New Orleans Police Union Christmas Party. The 60 year old Congressman arrived early, decked out in a stunning ivory-white suit and a Monte Cristo in his mouth. And on his arm was a stunning blonde who was clearly a few decades younger than himself. When local reporters snapped off a few shots during his entrance, the Congressman had this to say: "I'm single. And no, she's not a prostitute. Although, I guess being after my money sorta counts as prostitution. But thats a legal grey area. So, its all legal boys. Sorry, no story here for you tonight."

The man even went so far as to leave his personal security entourage at the door. "Well, if I'm not safe here amongst dozens and dozens of New Orleans' finest, then I can't be safe anywhere." Mr.Taggert also added: "Besides, I like to appear casual. Sometimes when you walk into places with bodyguards and secret service agents crawling out your ass, it tends to intimidate people. Personally, I like to be more approachable."

Amongst a myriad of both impressed and startled stares, Mr.Taggert filled his plate full of ribs, chicken wings and mashed potatoes. The Congressman came back for seconds and thirds. The politician had this to say about his appetite:"Well hell, I'm only here for the free food."

At about 9pm, Congressman Taggert was all business. He took his position at the offered podium and congradulated the NOPD on its various successes throughout the year. Mr.Taggert then proceeded to remind the NOPD that the Republican party was the only party who could be assured to look out for the interests of law and order. "Always remember, when a Democrat talks about budget cuts, you better watch your ass. Because its either going to be our boys and girls over in Iraq and Afghanistan or our people in blue working the streets. Meanwhile, the money they take away from you is going straight to the people you work so hard to put and keep in prison."

Congressman Taggert also took the liberty to discuss at length his new 'Criminal Participation Act', which he intends to pass through Congress and which would criminalize the act of commiting a crime for the interest of a criminal group. "For the first time in history, a criminal is going to get a mandatory, non-negociable 3 year sentence on top of the original sentence he gets for the original crime he or she committed. In addition, their bail will be denied and a special peace bond will fall upon the person, disallowing them to fraternize or frequent individuals who have links to organized crime. This will ensure that individuals who have close ties with organized crime are put on the sidelines even longer."